10 Things I Hate About Teeth

10 Things I Hate About Teeth


I know what you’re thinking…it’s one of two things actually so delete as applicable depending on whether or not you are a parent – how are there so many/few on the list?!

Teeth, my friends, are evil.  And here’s why:

1. They have their own time schedule – the symptoms are there for months but has that little tip of white broken through yet? Has it hell, give it another few weeks yet.
2. The dribble – had I wanted a bassett hound, I would have got one.  I didn’t.  I chose a baby, so how come I’m mopping up puddles before someone breaks their neck?
3. The poo – post weaning the teething poo becomes even better.  Apparently this is due to the increased saliva raised in point 2.
4. Biting – toys, clothes, furniture, though not thankfully people in our case.  Any hopes you had of putting that beautiful handcrafted wooden puzzle on ebay are out of the window now gnashers is in down.
5. Early Rising – my already early riser feels it is acceptable to get up even earlier when teeth are brewing, and this phase can last a while (see point 1).
6. Temperatures – I hate temperatures ar the best of times, mainly because little bear hates medicine, but when it’s caused by teething and stops you going out because of all the added clothing layers, well, it’s just inconsiderate.
7. Teething gel – wonderful in theory, even in practice whilst they’re still gummy.  But have you ever tried getting inside the mouth of a teething toddler?  Those existing pearly whites are pretty sharp and just sitting their waiting to put point 4 into practice – I’d rather wrestle a shark any day thank you!
8. Teething granules – again, great for tiddly tots, but toddlers? He just spjts them out.  During ante-natal classes this was put to me as “baby crack” – I have to say, it never lived up to that reputation.
9. Brushing – it has to be done, it’s so important to promote good oral hygiene and to look after teeth from the moment they appear, but again, I would rather wrestle a shark!  I’ve created a little song which helps us:
“Brush, brush, brush your teeth, gently side to side, up and down and round and round, make you smile with pride…ding” – it may be that this drowns out the protests more than actually helping but sing it a few times through and the ordeal is over.
10. The worry – when will the
y come through? Are the molars through? Are they clean enough? Are they straight? When will they get wobbly? Which will fall out first? Should I keep it? When will the new ones come through? Will they be straight? Will they need braces? Are they old enough to brush by themselves?  The worry never ends.

Tooth fairy – good job!  You have courage to dedicate your very existence to these horrors!

The Day Dreaming Mummy


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